i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
