The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
