I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
