I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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