I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
