WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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