my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
