just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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