Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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