you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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