it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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