my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Randomize