wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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