tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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