don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize