"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
