There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You did what with his pubic hair?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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