Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
