note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
