I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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