We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
