I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
