You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
