But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
