fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
