My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
