she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize