That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
