OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
