i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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