So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
