After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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