How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
