i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
