There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You can't special order awesome
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
