Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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