Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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