Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize