I will die if light touches me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
