apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
