I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
