I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
