The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
