he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize