Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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