I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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