in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I look better un-naked...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
