You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
