my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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