some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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