Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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