The best revenge is premature balding
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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