Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
