Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
