You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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