we're blogging at a bar
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
