i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
