P.S. I can't hear my feet
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
